Black Jack.

2011-12-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

Every year around the time of my birthday, the circumstances drive me to a listening point, as if to remind me how inadequate I am, how much I need the divine love of God.

Only divine love will never fail me. Oh that this trial would strengthen and develop my faith so I can fully rest in the peace of Christ.

Uncertainty. Pain. And I'm supposed to rejoice in it.

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Almost a year in!

2011-08-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hey you!

It's been almost a year into my national service now. I'm quite sure no one reads anymore because I haven't updated in a year. If you're reading this though, I really appreciate you trying to get to know me better.

Many things have happened in one year. I've finally gotten over the girl I liked for 4 years - with some help and nudging on God's part. For a couple of months (since that fateful day), I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like a girl until my uni days. I was so sure that my mind had more important things to be occupied with. Until I started falling for yet another best friend.

I really click well with her & she's got God as her goal as well. Unfortunately things aren't that simple. The timing is no good and I don't want to mess up another friendship. For an outrageously bold guy like me, keeping things subtle and under the radar is super hard! But I've decided that God will be in charge of my love life and I rest easy with that thought now (:

Through God's divine intervention, my strongest hater has finally let go of things and has started to let me back into her life a little. I'm quite appreciative of that. Mercy. Don't you just love that word? I like that she's forgiven me, but it's too bad we can't be as close as before. I really do treasure her as a sister. But I guess I have to take my time with these things. For now, I'm content to see her happy and laughing, even though I know she's struggling with issues on the inside. What can I do but pray?

And suddenly, I've become included in the Gkidz Levites circle again! Not that they were really leaving me out but I just wasn't serving with them anymore. It's quite nice of them to invite me back for hang-out sessions again. I enjoy the fellowship and all those times of playing contact. It's awesome getting to know some of my friends a little better. Even better, I've made new friends. All the cool people like Kai Bin, O Wen, Ben Kheng, Pris, Lester, Kweksi, Amanda, Amelia, Sarah, Lycia, Reuben Morgan, Shaun (:

Cell is a bit different now. With the new leaders and all. And the new people. But I'm not going to give up on this cell. I'm starting to love each and every person. God reminded me that every life placed in the hands of a leader is a life we're accountable for. We're to treat those lives special and to help them grow up in Christ. Why should I let negativity get the better of this cell? Sometimes all of us are just overly-dramatic, particularly in the areas of love and friendship. I remember the days when we were young and simple. Everything related back to God and His Sovereignty. Feels good to let go and let God take control.

I love that God has been orchestrating my life so much. Pushing me and pulling me in different directions to show me what He's up to in my life. Recently, my conversations have been geared towards hearing the voice of God. That takes a still heart and a quiet mind. Not something I'm particularly good at. But if that can help me to hear the voice of God, I'm going to make that effort. I believe Christianity is just a religion if not for the relationship with God. Thank you God for directing me (:

Yours sincerely,
Jerald

Sing your heart out today

Black Jack.

Almost a year in!